As I lay there in fetal position with my asshole and arm bleeding, I was hurting and shaking. I was in a dark room all alone. He took something that did not belong to him. I trusted him. I was loyal to him and gave him all the praise for what he stood for to me…He raped me and took my manhood. This is not like being paid for sex. He fucked me until he busted a nut and walked right out the door after he slashed my arm with the blade he carried. When I looked at my arm, I saw the white meat…I remember crying hysterically before passing out.
This alone, is the prologue from the most riveting, honest and descriptive book I read all summer. When the author, Samuel P. Holloway III sent me a autographed copy of the book a month prior, I had no clue to the world I was about to dive into neither did I have an inkling of how intriguing the experience was about to be. I met Samuel a few months before this in random cyber interactions. I was aware of the marketing and promotion of his book entitled Eyes Without A Face, but I never paid much attention to it. What a big mistake I made. Sam was born Robert Theotis Edmond on December 15th 1978 in Gary, Indiana. He’s resided in various locations across the U.S but currently calls Atlanta, Georgia home. What impressed me most about this book is his sheer honesty in retelling his story. Sam successfully and effectively navigated through several dimensions of our community that not often times discussed. Prostitution, molestation, abuse, domestic violence and rape were all discussed in the upmost detail and clarity.
Eyes Without A Face, The Story Of Samuel P. Holloway III, is a riveting story that covers a wide variety of things from Rape, Prostitution, Molestation, Child Abuse, Incest, Sexual Abuse, Family Abuse/ Rejection, Bullying, Domestic Violence, to him finally finding peace…It’s a lot but it is a must read. GOD didn’t leave Samuel, and HE kept him here to share his story to help heal, and to educate others in these same situations… This book is definitely a page turner, and will send you on an emotional roller coaster ride….You will truly connect with Samuel while you‘re reading his story, through his ups and downs. After a month of scheduling conflicts, Samuel and I finally were at a point where we both were available for The Flyy-Life exclusive. Below, you will find the dialogue that transpired. As always, he was open, honest and direct. This is truly someone who God gave a mission too and he is humbly fulfilling it.
FL- Name 5 adjectives that describe the real Samuel Holloway III.
SH- Accomplished, Blessed, Courageous, Intelligent, Loving, And Strong. Sorry, I had to go with the 6 that are tattooed on my back. Those are my 6 adjectives that describe me.
FL- Reading your book, the prologue alone knocks the reader off their feet and intrigues your audience. Was there any fear in writing your book and if so, how did you handle it?
SH– There was a lot of fear in writing this book about my life. But I knew if I didn’t tell it exactly how it was, then I would be lying to myself. Then I realized, what would be the point then. So I told everything there was to tell, rather it made me look bad or not. I just let the pen do the writing as the thoughts came to my head. I cried, laughed, was mad, sad, and everything else associated with feelings. But I just kept going because I knew that others are living like I did. This book was now for them and not me. I was just the voice behind it.
FL- You graphically go into detail about your experiences. This strategy, indeed, helped the reader relate to you. What emotions came to rise as you recalled these events and how did you handle it?
SH- Again, I cried, laughed, was mad, sad, and everything else associated with feelings. I began to drink, smoke marijuana more than what I already did, and did a lot of thinking. I no longer wanted to be the person that I was, and while writing, everything that was negative about me, I vowed to change, and all my flaws that I discovered, I vowed to accept.
FL- What aspects to do wish to bring to the urban literary world?
SH– I would like for us as humans, to look at each other simply as people. Like, we are all related in one way or another. We are all the same, just on different levels, fighting different devils. Each of us has a powerful story within us that needs to be told. We should listen to each other to learn from one another. I want people to hear my story, in hopes that it helps them or someone else living in my shoes.
FL-You spoke in detail about your exploits with what most would call “DL” men. The majority of the men you were involved with were gangsters, hustlers, drug-dealers and what most would label “hood.” What is the straight community reaction when reading these chapters in your book?
SH– Of course, some people are in total disbelief, lying to themselves like it does not happen. But in the back of their heads, they know it’s the truth. Some readers were angry because they felt I told these people lives in detail and that I waited too long to do so. I’ve had death threats because of the real names placed in the book. Family members were upset also; however, no one ever stopped to think about Sam’s feelings!!??
FL- Although I thought I had the worst childhood, as I read your book I realized how much I took for granted. What do you think were the motivating forces that helped you survive and flourish despite your early years?
SH- I’ve always had a dream to be more than what I was. I grew up in a terrible environment, and I knew I didn’t want to stay there forever. So I did the things I had to do to better myself, and make a way to escape my surroundings, so I would not become a product of the environment that I was surrounded by.
FL- One of the most heart-warming chapters of your book is when you finally came into yourself in high school and began to celebrate who you were and be happy about it. What message would you send to those youngsters that are in the same situation you were during those early days?
SH– Be careful what you do to try and fit in, and have others accept you because you want to be you. Unfortunately, our society is not ready just yet for that. Sometimes, we can’t always wear our sexuality on our shoulders. If we want to prevent some altercations, we have to be aware of our surroundings. I am not saying you can’t be you. I am saying, simply be very careful being you. Reach out to some type of organizations that support US. Speak to counselors, or someone of that nature. But speak up if you must do so. Keep nothing to yourself because others are ashamed of it, or don’t understand it.
FL- You go into detail about topics such as molestation, verbal/physical abuse, neglect, lack of love/affection and family hatred. Which of these topics do you think had the most influence of you and why?
SH- That is truly a hard one, because they all affected me for a long time. But I would have to say, “Family hatred.” No one wants to be hated by family, especially 1st cousins and aunts. This subject touches me in every way, sometimes every day. I have to watch comments, or likes from the relatives that don’t speak to me on FB. They are friends with other family members so that makes us have mutual friends. I still go on, but I do feel that after a period of more than 20 years, enough is enough to hate a person who is related to you because of their sexual preference.
FL- In spite of your experience and surroundings, you always stayed motivated and education was a priority of yours. Most in that situation would have dropped out of school. What was the factor that kept you moving and how do you apply that to your life today.
SH– I actually was a ward of the state, so I had to go to school. But I truly wanted to because it was an escape from the hell at home. However, it was a place where I was bullied. I kept going because I had no choice in the matter. It was sort of win, win, and lose, lose. Either way, I walked away with a cap and gown because I was determined not to let neither situation force me not succeed. Today, I attend college so that I can help others in the same situation that I was in years ago. I want to give them shelter and help in many ways by opening a center to these who are abused, bullied, or gay, and are not accepted at home.
FL- If there was one experience that’s discussed in the book in which you could erase or navigate around, which would it be?
SH– I’m not really sure because every experience either taught me or made me who I am today. A lot of situations I wished I would not have listed. I wish I didn’t live them too, but I did. But, I think I would go with the prostitution part because it makes me look as though I am slutty or a whore. That was my past, and I had to do what I had to do.
FL- Although you were sexually submissive in most of your relationships, you, without a doubt were the dominate one when it came to the provider of the household. How has this shaped your view on urban masculinity and what characteristics do you now define as true man-hood?
SH- It made me look at my brothers different. In our community, most of us are looking for a free ride or a nut for right then. We don’t see long term, we only see right now. But I have not lost faith at all. There are some great brothers out here and I know now, just because someone hurt me in my past, does not mean every man is out to hurt me in my future.
FL- You went into detail about the lucrative and luxurious lifestyle of escorting. Most in our community are unable to transition to corporate America once living this lifestyle. How did you make the transition and what are your thoughts on escorting within our community?
SH- I transitioned because of my nieces. When I started co-parenting and had no choice in the matter, I knew they could never see me doing this. This was something that I would not wish on my worst enemy. So I made sure that my nieces saw Uncle Sam going to work every day and at home with them every night. It was hard, but I couldn’t think of myself at the time. I had to think of them. And I had already made enough money that I was able to just walk away without looking back. In our community today, boys are having sex for 40and 50 bucks. That’s despicable, cheap and silly. I couldn’t do it. But hey, I can’t judge them either. They too, have a story behind why they are doing what they are doing.
FL- Who has been or is the most motivating person in your life and why?
SH- My sister Theresa, my brother Romie, and Cousin Felicia, are the most motivating people in my life. My sister because she was given up for adoption and we never grew up tight. But the bond we made after meeting was priceless. She is a minister, so spiritually; she brings me up with the word. She looks just like my mother too so I know that plays a role being that my mother is not in my life. She is also my sister; my only one. My brother is next because he is the male I seek advice from. My brother lived in the streets so he is like a father figure that gives me advice on men when I have a question. It’s funny because he hated me because I was gay growing up. But you can’t tell that today. My brother is my only brother and now we have the bond that I have always wanted. And my cousin Felicia has been there from the start. She is the oldest cousins out of us all. She gives everyone advice because she has lived in some of our situations.
FL- As an author, I have seen you utilize due-diligence to get your message out. What characteristics from your previous lifestyle have you used in this journey?
SH– When I want something or if I am trying to make a point, I keep going. No matter if I am tired, ready to give up or have just had enough; I know I have to keep going because someone needs to hear it. I need to help someone who is living right now the way I was living in my past. I am trying to make sure I leave no one behind. If I reach 1, then I have reached 2. The more I reach, the more the word spreads about my message.
FL- What relationship do you currently have with your family and friends after the release of this book?
SH-Have you ever heard the saying, “The more things change, the more things stay the same?” Well things changed, and things stayed the same. I now have that relationship with my grandmother, brother and aunt that I always wanted. But then I lost the relationship with another aunt, some cousins, and partial relationships with my fathers. A few that I have been friends with, who are in the book, are also no longer my friends. I now know that people do come into your life for a reason, season and a lifetime. Drake has the song ‘No New Friends,” but I say without my new friends I would have no one to replace the previous ones who were there for years.
FL- Personally, I would like to see a part II to this book. What are some of the projects you have in store?
SH- During the court case with JL King for breach of contract, all my books were pulled from the stores where they were sold. I had no rights over anything. Now, after winning my suit against JL King, I have won the rights back to my book and I am currently working to have them back in stores.
FL- Where do you see yourself in five years in relation to your brand and your calling?
I see myself owning, and running my youth center for abuse children, teens, and young adults. My mission is to help those in need of help.
FL- As of date, what are your numbers and how has the public received your work?
SH- Currently I am sitting at more than 2700 units sold since the release date of 12/27/2011!
FL- What above all has the book taught you and how has it allowed you to release past disappointments and grow as man?
SH- It has taught me to love me, and value my self worth. No one is ever that important to lose yourself while trying to find them. My book has taught me to forgive people, because if not, they hold me hostage. I’ve learned to let go and understand that rejection is just GOD’s protection.
FL- What are your thoughts on Chicago? How do you feel about the city?
SH– I love Chicago. I have no bad feelings about the city. I just feel that some people that live in the city are so far gone in the head. They allow the “GAY HOUSES” to run their life. They lose all aspect of the civilian world and truly think the world is a HOUSE! There is nothing wrong with that; however, I just wish that people knew that there is another world out there. Also, most of the people in the “HOUSE” are fighting some of the same devils that I did. But in all, I love Chicago!
FL- Any last words you would like to the audience and where can they find you?
SH- The last thing I would like to say is, “please listen to my message instead of looking at my shell.” This story may, or may not be your story, but it is someone else story. You may not agree with the way the story was written, but this was my life. Please pay attention to what’s being conveyed. I wanted to be very transparent in the way my message is being delivered. I want people to understand my life, that way they can understand others. Most people that are gay are not asking others to accept their sexual preference; they are simply asking people to accept them as a person. THANK YOU for your Support Deo!
Samuel Holloway can be found at: