O.K, SO STOP YOUR SHIT!!!!…Let’s all admit. The big “polka-dot” elephant in the room with the Lanvin batik evening frames, is the realization that within the course of 3 weeks, we have awoken to major public scandals involving vested members of our community with minors, under the age of consent. I am not a prosecutor or defender therefore I could care less about the outcome. But considering this has become a major issue with my peers, I wanna analyze the situation thoroughly.  I need to raise some questions and review some details. This is not done with a heart of judgment. No!  This is so I can mitigate the risk of falling into that same trap hole. As men, we are on a journey.

Before I begin, let me highlight that in both cases the defendants are still all labeled “allegedly.” The news of their arrest and charges were disseminated on several platforms by major creditable news sources and outlets. Currently, all but one of the defendants is still being held due to failure to make bond.  As I began to speak with friends, sources, staff and confidants; I realized the major question we asked was why?  I understand the diverse diet of the gay man’s most erotic taste. I get it…but really? There’s a very flourishing and abundant selection of the most beautiful, accomplished, intriguing yet mature men above the age of 25 in this city. This number 25 is important because most of us, within a certain level of sophistication and class, realize this is most often the “dead cut-off”!!!!…26 & 27 is scary but worth the risk…28-32 tends to be just right…and 33+ is perfect….What did you possibly expect from someone under 25!!! and why are you down-grading that low…

I’m not making blanketed statements, but at 25, most are still in service level employment. That’s if you happen to stumble across one with any employment at all. Most have yet to gain the marketable skill-sets that even allows them into entry level corporate as admins, analyst, CR Reps and Office Clerks.  This is not judgment; this is analysis…So you invite this person that would be labeled a “child” in our community, into your home for drinks and cocktails. This man, who has no idea how his phone will get turned on and bill paid, walks out his house in the “hundreds” into a grand luxury vehicle, escorted with sound of expensive speakers….they pull up to a gorgeous three story mansion with an artistic sense of detail paid,… top shelf drinks in fine Tiffany’s glasses, …the elevator up to the master bedroom …oh, and now I just blanked out and woke up just raped, “used”….disheveled!!!!…..

I’m not casting by ballot as to who is innocent or guilty. My heart goes out to all that’s involved. My argument is, when we hit a certain station in life that’s stimulated by the mindset of embracing upward mobility, sophistication and class; we also embrace the desire to be thoughtful, strategic and analytical when it comes to decision making. After surviving the 20’s, we’ve  made the conscious decision to mitigate any liability that might have a long lasting or lifetime effect on  you,  your goals and your lifestyle. In both cases, this is still all “alleged”. We all have our opinions, but in honesty, we don’t know who is innocent or guilty. What we do know is that the lives of all involved have been drastically altered within the stance of an hour. This is mostly due to poor decision making.  Personally, I don’t care how sexy you are or how well-endowed you may be, that’s not an option I’m willing to risk at this moment…

My argument is, stop being irresponsibly thirsty gentlemen. Strive to be the gentleman that has a firm grasp on strategy, decision making and implementation. We have a very flourishing sea of prospects.  Yes, it may take a bit more to impress us but that’s a journey that can be embarked upon together and later adds depth to the relationship and bond you build.  If you scratch the surface a bit, you will realize it’s some really cool people out there within our demographic…you gotta look beyond the club figure and social media persona, and you’ll see, there’s peeps out there that are so beautiful that regardless of your sexual connection, you have established a true bond and lifelong friend.  If you don’t want to go the relationship route, it’s nothing wrong with establishing a sexual relationship with people that may be consistent but not committed. If you find yourself “that” in need, I would even venture to hire a nice escort.  Your sexual desires and fantasies should be embraced but you gotta make sure you experience those delights with people who are of the mindset to understand what’s going on and know how to handle it. A 32 year age gap is deplorable!

In closing, my call to action would be take control and be more insightful when it comes to the decisions you make about sex in our community.  A STD can be treated, managed and kept in secrecy if you wish. But this type of “gagging” is public and life altering. No matter the verdict, the people involved will publicly me tied to rape, child molestation, underage intoxication and just plain CARRRYING..It isn’t going nowhere soon….Deo

Feel free to post your thoughts, opinions or perspectives….everything is confidental…..I just wanna know