By DeoVonte “Deo” Means
The Top 13 Gheis (gays) of society, was birthed out of a stimulating conversation between a very engaging group of friends and I. The thought process behind the arguement was that regardless of your geographic location, there are 13 distinctiful traits that you will most likely identify with within LGBT urban men of society globally. Lets be clear, The Flyy-Life is not a platform that generalize diverse populations. We are not making a blanketed generalization. Gays are just like any other demographic; diverse, colorful and eclectic. We are not saying these are the ONLY groupings. We are saying that these are 13 of the most prevelant. Perhaps some readers will find one, two or three that they relate to by the end, and perhaps some wont identify with any. At the end of the day it’s ok, because we’re all individuals. Enjoy…cheers….Deo
The Promoter-(the kee) In their minds, they are the Zeus of the community, and at times possess an inflated since of overall superiority. They make events happen! Profoundly popular, they tend to garner lots of fans that really just want an invite to a party. Their days are spent making connections and ignoring fundamental business processes while also flooding social media with invites, announcements, teasers, invitations and daily reminders of their party. This entity of the scene is less crowded so competition between competing entities is very high but also passive aggressive. Every move the competition makes, the opposing team tries to out maneuver. The pressures of this responsibility lead them to bend to popular trends and fake kick it with the public. I mean after-all, after a few parties, they tend to label themselves CEO’s. If due-diligence is embraced and they are indeed successful with an event or two, they will endow their hobby with the title “business”. It’s rumored; many of them have limited employment options so they are forced into the “hustler” category for survival. They are generally charming and will exhaust all extremes to gain another attendee…even if it means pinching on your booty and fake flirting. Most often, you will not see them present at any other events in the city unless their business is making a coin or can promote…its fiercely competitive but rewarding.
(the upshot)- No matter personal opinion, these individuals are actually serving as the “heart” organ of our community. They are vested stake holders that are utilizing personal resources and energy to provide a branded venue for the masses to come out, socialize and demonstrate whatever level of individual beauty they possess. Although you have to pay close attention to the demographic each entity attracts, you still cannot deny that they are providing the community with an outlet that most of us has decided wasn’t really worth the personal investment. Their networking capabilities are second to none and they are normally very gifted at implementation. Most are also very detail orientated.
The Socialite -(the kee) In their minds, they ARE the party. The party does not begin until they arrive and it’s not a validated FAB party if they are not in attendance. Their currency is “likes”, “shares” and any sort of public adoration. Appearance and popularity is always at the front of their minds. Although they live the most intimate parts of their life publicly, their greatest fear is being the victim of an embarrassing public scandal or not receiving an invite to EVERY party in the city. You will most definitely catch them in the club and elite events. They have a way of strategically making their way to the perfectly lit center space where they can be seen while greeting and holding court. It’s whispered they can be shallow, selfish, high maintenance and undercover whores, but hey, you only live life once so make the most of it and live FABULOUSLY. No one really knows how they afford their lifestyle. They tend to be well dressed, manicured and cultured. Their multiple cyber profiles are personal shrines filled with self-indulged photos of them and their “fabulous” life and friends. If they are an uber-socialite, “gaylebrity”, then they probably effectively represent several of the categories listed on this list. Stay on their good side. Don’t piss them off…they can publicly shade you which is paramount to death. They can also work to get you uninvited from all the “parties”….He’s never met a camera that didn’t just adore him…..
(the upshot)- No matter their perceived shallowness, these dudes tend to be extremely strategic, confident, alluring and engaging. They appear to be good and well versed at their game and they bring a sort of depth and excitement to the scene. More than anything, they tend to be influential and well respected at their craft. This sets a standard of excellence within the scene and keeps everyone striving in that direction. They add to the upward mobility aura of the city and are generally good people to be around. After getting to know them, you realize they are just like everyone else. But confidence is always the key that can open up many doors for you and doors tend to flyy open for them.
The Filler- (the kee) They generally know everybody’s names, they speak, attend the functions and communicate with everyone online; but they have no real social footprint. They tend to use phrases like “we turnt up”…”my crew is better than yours”…or wear colorful Adidas with wings on them. Zara, H&M and Forever 21 are safe choices for them when it’s time to get fancy and they look good in it. Some will go further and invest in their first Burberry hat or pair of Louboutins and you can bet it will be plastered all over FB, Twitter and Instagram for months. After you speak back to them, they turn into smoke…you forget they were even there. You quickly come to realize, just because YOU don’t see them, doesn’t mean they are not present. Their eyes are always watching and waiting for the moment to report back to the masses with the “tea”. On cyberspace, they are friends with and keep a watchful eye on ALL of the demographics listed above and below. They tend to move passively and attend all parties and each event they are invited too. Even if it means conforming or bringing them out of their comfort zone. After all, they are thirsty for a party and have people to keep their eyes on. Promoters use them as easy bait to fill their clubs and Socialites use them as an easy and guaranteed means of feeling like a celebrity for the night.
(the upshot)- The filler has definitely been accepted into the throws of society and they are savvy enough to quickly learn how to not only maintain but move up. They keep the kids on their toes and ensure no one gets too drunk with power or popularity. They are fairly established. They possess jobs, cars, and apartments and know a thing or two about fashion, current events and trends. They are the leverage that keeps a reality check on the scene while supporting and being assets. They are cool too. As long as you keep it together and keep it cool with them, they will keep it cute with you. They will either love you or hate, but either way, rest assured their eyes are watching and reporting.
The Boy– (the kee) In their minds, they are the ULTIMATE embodiment of masculinity. Yes, he is gay and knows the culture and nomenclature like a pro. He knows when you’re “trying” him and he can understand and enjoy a “kee kee” and reading fest; “but he’s not with all this fag shit”… He delights in the fact that he hangs with boys from the hood, can “throw them hands” if necessary and often times sent into the liquor store if we gotta stop in the hood. Don’t ask him about a job, because he’s a hustler and “hustlers don’t need no DAMN Resume.” His perceived masculinity leads him to be a hot commodity within the scene and he knows it. He generally wakes up mid-morning, smokes a blunt and hop on social media. He filters through the 60 new friend’s request he has received from overnight queens wanting to get a piece. He accepts maybe 7 or 8. His post and pics are normally of him hanging with boys and drinking 211 or dark liquor while smoking blunts. He often posts about the virility of his penis and how he’s looking to emasculate a man in the bedroom, but he doesn’t do fats or femme’s. Privately, he purposely seeks out established fats and femmes for sexual conquest and also to pay a month of his pre-paid cell phone bill. Don’t forget to include a pack of squares. They love to proclaim their enjoyment of ass but don’t touch theirs or it’s a problem. Of course he’s in the club and anywhere else that’s having a party. He needs to feel like a man amongst a sea of gays. He’s normally in the back of the club on the wall. Clad with his fitted hat, sagging pants and timberlands, nursing a drink and giving you a sexy but low maintenance head nod.
(the upshot)- I am not one to argue the true merits of uber masculinity, but I do know that they stabilize the flavor of our community. They have gone beyond measures to change the perception that all gay urban men are flamboyant and wearing booty shorts. They tend to be upmost respectful and gentlemen to those that are softer than them. I’ve noticed how they tend to be unknown activist in their own right. Most of them are openly gay but they are constantly breaking barriers with other straight men that perceive gay men as freaks of nature. They have an acute street sense and are often protective even when you don’t know it. They are like soldiers, constantly surveying for perceived danger when you’re with them and mitigating the risk. They relate to the hood but they are serving because they are using a gay man’s mind. They don’t really bother anybody and are more mellow but they love a good laugh and are stimulated when two “queens” cut-up and go at it.
The Sex Siren– (the kee) In their minds, they are God’s modern day reincarnation of the Greek god Apollo himself. They have finely sculpted bodies and it has become their throne in glory. A steady flow of pics are posted online highlighting their finely shaped arms, abs, ass, thighs and legs. In fact, EVERY picture on Facebook is a awarkdly posed body shot. The gym is their second home and carbs are their enemy. They can quote the bodily effects of each food group and regularly take on 60 day fitness challenges. Of course they come out, but they tend to be selective of the events. In their minds, they are no longer intrigued by the adoration from thots and fans…they can post a picture on FB and get 500 likes in 10 minutes. They desire the attention of the powerful and popular. They are at times cocky, self-assured and arrogant, but why not…they understand they can have any man or women in the building at any given time. They have mastered the perfect combination of masculinity and gentleness. This draws everybody to them. You can catch them out in a tank or fitted button up shirt with two or three buttons open and nicely fitted pants to highlight their physique in a grown and sexy way .They are rumored whores that steers clear of social media connects because those are just fans. They are often found at the sex parties or trying to date a Promoter, Socialite or Grown & Sexy for the attention and status symbol.
(the upshot)- These are some of the most beautiful and regimented men you will ever meet. They are deemed egotistical but once you get into their minds, you soon realize they are vulnerable individuals like the rest of us. They are merely using a God given asset to open doors of opportunity in their life. They serve as the health conscious rubrics of our community. They have created a sexy trend of visiting the gym and being committed to health. I have watched as this has enabled a lot of others that were on the path to obesity, gain control of the impending issue. Beauty transcends all races, nationalities and demographics and these men are truly beautiful.
The Academic– (the kee) In the last seven years of knowing them, they have obtained 5 different Doctorate degrees in 7 different disciplines. Forever the student, they are intrigued by the deep thought process and constantly seeking out a higher understanding of the unknown. You will find them at intimate events, networking events and sometimes the club. They are economical but appropriate so most times they will give a sexy, earthy look in a nice Zara or H&M ensemble. Their FB pages are usually cluttered with pics of diversity in local and far off places in their quest for enligentenment or one of their multiple graduation ceremonies or study groups. They are sexy cool, but a simple FB questions will garner a five paragraph dissertation from them in response. You can count on them to shed a different light on the topic. Do not get into cyber debates with them because they will turn into the Encyclopedia Britannica and deliver so many sources and study findings that you will become drained of the topic and utterly confused.
(the upshot)- These are some of the most brilliant and intelligent minds of our generation. They hold advanced degrees from prestigious institutions and have embraced a mindset that learning is a lifelong experience. Those that are legit, do not use their papers to make others feel less than. They use their papers to bring enlightenment, understanding and discovery into the world. They usually go into professions like education, psychology, social work, information technology and government services. They influence the community a lot because you can depend upon them to bring the truth out of situations of smoke and mirrors. You can also depend on them to challenge your thought process and reasoning on multiple topics and add to your overall understanding.
The Married– (the kee) This demographic includes the seriously dating, long term dating and legally married. In their minds, the world was made for two therefore the real status of a man is based upon his ability to find and keep a mate. “I have a man to go home to”…”my husband” is often repeated phrases you’ll catch them saying. Their FB pages are cluttered with photos of them and the significant other at mom’s house for Mother’s Day, date nights, Easter Sunday service and romantic destinations. Valentine’s Day is their Christmas. This is the day they can showcase to the world that they have a man and these are the benefits that comes with it. They come out every once and a while because in their minds you can’t keep a man if you all in the club. Most times they have an open or accompanied relationship. They are notorious for seeking out threesomes. It appears the mantra between them is you’re expected and allowed to dibble outside the relationship but keep sex in its perspective. At the end of the day, sex is sex but our household is FIRST and most important. They call themselves husbands, boyfriends, first gentlemen and boo’s and tag their partner online as being their significant other. You can find them at the discreet parties and all social media outlets, passively trying to recruit the next “toy” into their untraditional sexual fantasies.
(the upshot) – Establishing a loving partnership is a universal goal that transcends demographic, and these gentlemen seem to have discovered the key that alludes so many of us. Many argue against the untraditional antics of their private love life but it does seem to work as long as both stay within the confines of the agreement. They tend to be fairly stable and successful because two incomes is always better than one. Also, life success and disappointments are easier to transition through when you have someone in your corner. Most of these men are cool and never really apart of any issues. To keep the bones in their closet from falling out, they tend to stay under the radar. They have amazing dinner parties but once the conversation turns to sex, brace yourself.
The Young Professional– (the kee) Normally between the ages of 26-40, their world is controlled and sustained by three things. The company they work for, position the have and proximity to future opportunity. Their personal lives are generally very regimented and planned. Boring to most. They prefer a two week notice to fit you into a movie date or evening dinner. They don’t like surprises or spontaneity because they are conditioned to always analyze, plan, implement and execute for the best results. FB is their balm in the steel jungle of corporate America, therefore they usually log on early morning and stay aware and connected till 6pm. Their statuses are normally about office interactions, spreadsheets, PTO time, the rude co-worker or a promotion. They are most excited when the boss pats them on the shoulder and says good job. They tend to be well established with cute disposable incomes. Of course they are in the club. Normally in an Express 1MX shirt, flat front jeans and designer accessories. Because of their conservative Mon-Fri lives, when they decided, they can normally come out, no expense spared and cashing out. They are also known to exchange finances for favors. You can catch them at the late night sex parties and most internet dating websites. Their most dreadful moments is waking up the next day, realizing they over spent the previous night or waking up and realizing they overslept for work. They curse being hung-over in the office too.
(The upshot)- Although they appear to be conservative with regimented and boring lives, they are actually assets to the community. They have brilliant business minds and are great at strategy and implementation. They possess great people skills and are able to successfully transition into several demographics of society. They tend to be successful and content at being alone. They are employed by many of the top companies and they help to change the stereotype that all gay men work in fashion or retail. They enjoy themselves when they are out but are also fiscally responsible in their personal lives. They tend to be the force within the community that motivates everyone else to strive for greatness and accomplish personal goals. They tend to get along with everyone and fun to be around. You never have to worry about them running out on a bill or sticking you with it.
The Church Queen– (the kee) Their motto is “wont he do it”, and they proclaim this all over cyberspace anytime a hair even grows on their head. You can catch them at a few of the events, normally posted in the background, discreetly sipping a strong cocktail out of a wine glass. When “The Wobble” is played, they descend to the dance floor and energetically bop the night away. No matter how late at night they are in the club, drunkenly swaying the night away, they will surely be at 9am Praise & Worship service on Sunday. They will attend each following service throughout the day including late night broadcasting. They are normally choir directors, lead soloist, ministers of music, praise dancers, deacons, praise & worship leaders and gospel producers. Socially, they cool, but speak ill about Donald Lawrence, VaShawn Mitchell, Hezekiah Walker or “The Bish-shup” and you’re liable to get punched in the face… “Heavenly Father, forgive me. I know I sinned, but this heathen tried my soul…they know NOT what they do”….
(the upshot)- As long as the conversation steers clear of religion; they tend to be pretty cool and down to earth men. Their commitment to their faith is respected because we all believe in a God. They are the first to reach out when times get hard and congratulate on any success. They steer clear of alliances and generally respect all. They are humble in all their accomplishments and tend to live fairly stable lives. They are unaware that a lot of their religious cyber footprints have actually led a lot of lost souls to form personal relationships with God.
The Activist– (the kee) Driven by social change, statistics and prevention; their cyber profile is maxed out with banners, flyers, articles and blogs about STD prevention and any social commentary. They are notorious for trying to persuade you to get tested even at the most awkward and inopportune time. Their past time is enjoying the News, CNN and any other platform that encourages debates and exposing the corrupt system. They are delighted to attend retreats, forums, marches, parades or any other activism outlets. They tend to be highly educated and enjoy sitting on boards and working with institutions to increase access and support for services. Most times, they are married or in committed relationships but behind closed doors they are the ultimate freaks. They have direct contact with state and local elected officials and normally are utilized as the LGBT liaison. They keep a close eye on votes and laws that will have an effect on the community and have no problem flooding your newsfeed with updates on the situation and why you should care. They tend to be impartial when conflicts arise but they are always aware and watching the “battles”. They are active in the community and tries to support everyone events. They are great host at their own events just make sure you come ready to make a donation, sign a petition or get an instant STD test or flu shot.
(the upshot)- Although they are often times labeled boring and annoying, this is perhaps the most underrated demographic within the community. They are educated and causes change to occur. They are the ones behind our unprecedented gain in rights and civil liberties within the last decade. They are also vested stake holders within our community, and responsible for the mass safe sex message that has led to a control over and deeper understanding of the HIV epidemic. They are also responsible for state and local assistance for people within the community that are experiencing hardships or medical issues. Partying is great, but these men take it a step further and ensure that the people that are partying are also repsented in the legislature and their voice is heard in the real world. They ensure that the issues and concerns that affect us as a community are addressed and mitigated.
The Entrepreneurial Artist– (the kee) Most often they categorize themselves as models, actors, stylist, photographers, designers, hair stylist, make-up artist etc. They normally manage several different cyber outlets including a personal website. It’s the norm for them to plaster any inkling of their work on all twelve of their profiles and in every group. If they luck upon an H-List celebrity utilizing their services or product for free, they then attach the moniker “celebrity” to their professional title. At times they host intimate parties to preview their work and network. Most steer away from the club because it’s just not generating any revenue. The ones that do club tend to come out with a snug blazer and their heads tilted to the sky with a business card in hand. They feel accomplished knowing their income is generated and limited to how many “clients” they can get. They market their services/products to the upwardly mobile of the city and even try their best to be good businessmen and professional. The way to get on their bad side is to delay payment, or pay with a check!!! Lol.
(the upshot)- There is an overwhelmingly high ratio between generic and talented. Roughly 70/30, but when you filter through and find that 30%, they are some of the most talented, brilliant and accomplished talents of our time. They demonstrate an impressive skillset that just needs the platform of a global brand. Many times, you will see them with A-List celebrities, high profile clients and outstanding branding opportunities. Some are even at the top of their craft and highly respected within the game. This energy keeps that artistic, hustling energy within our community and has led to our customs, norms and nomenclature to take over as a global precedent and rubric of success.
The Sophisticate– (the kee) Normally beginning by mid 30’s but increasingly becoming younger, this demographic has turned in their socialite card and now enjoy a life of real world stability, accomplishment and calmness. They make appearances to only the most refined and exclusive events. If they are there, then it’s a delight and your event receives a stamp of approval. Because of their selective partying, they are most often well established and vested into their perspective careers. They travel and go on exotic trips. They are still youthful at heart and face but they have acquired a grown man’s taste about the situation. If they are out, they sip Bourbon and are clad in Armani, Gucci, Etro and Paul Smith. They have one Facebook page in which they post an array of pics. From family, trips, concerts, events to workplace selfies. They are excited about the remodeling of their home, their luxury vehicle or a European trip. They no longer understand the reasoning behind cyber fights or shade, and will oftentimes inbox or call you with that scolding disappointment of your antics. It will affect you deeply. They tend to mold the scene by being behind the scene motivators and are the best forms of support. Their support goes far. They enjoy a nice sex party if they are not involved but more so prefer a date to enjoy a nice museum, play or performance followed by a nice dinner with a few bottles of wine and a night of wild sex. They are powerful, influential and sexy. They can read you and you won’t even know it. Humbly and submissively stay on their good side and you’ll go far.
(the upshot)– These men are the true standard bearers of our community. They show us, it’s a prosperous life beyond the gregarious and irresponsible stages of gay-man hood. They are visible reminders that age and growth is a beautiful thing. Because of the clarity and due-diligence applied towards their life, most of these men are beautiful specimens of manhood that could easily pass for 20 years their minor. They are calm and strategic and exemplify the aura of success within our community. They are wise and encouraging and although outwardly they appear to be non-engaged, they are actually actively engaged and passively helping to shape the future grown, sexy and successful man within in the scene.
The Ratcheet– (the kee) In their minds, “a par- tay, aint a par-tay, unless we can make our booty’s clap and twerk the night away wildly all over the place, looking like a Tasmanian Devil.” Normally younger, but increasingly older, the only reason they are in the building is one of two reasons. Either their extreme thirst to be somewhere, anywhere on the weekend turning up has led them to accidentally stumble into a party/event, or the promoter has become so desperate for coins that they have incorporated a “come one come all environment”…and my do they come out…in herds like wild wildebeest! They normally race to events, scratch that, WEEKLY NIGHT CLUBS, sippin on Dmitri and Svedka on the way there. This is in an effort to get there before the complimentary cut off period and also not have to buy drinks. They will stand at the door and argue and whip out all types of promos, emails and text to prevent from paying that entry fee. If it’s a good week, they may come with $15 for the night (three drinks no tip) and are known to share one Corona among 5 friends. The last thing on their minds is attire. “Why worry about that when you’re only gonna strip down to your undies and make it clap on the strippers? Bitch Please!!! Give me my sweat pants and tee-shirt and I’m cool.” They don’t have time for all that “bougie” shit. Although they tend to make most nervous, they are cool until you accidentally step on their toe on the dance floor. That’s when they really feel disrespected and they’ll remodel the whole damn club with your ass. They don’t have too much going on in the real world. Maybe a job readiness program or something, therefore they eagerly anticipate where they gonna get turnt up at all next weekend. It doesn’t matter where it is, as long as it has 4 walls, they’re there. Many times it ends up being an unfinished basement, urban parklot, or indeed a shabby club. Their cyber profiles are usually littered with aggressive, broken and poor English and you can always count on them to post the filthy bathroom selfie, or cluttered bedroom selfie with their ass tooted in the air…
(the upshot)- There isn’t one….fix it Jesus…..