By DeoVonte “Deo” Means

On Monday, cyberspace was abuzz with the video clip showing a young gay man attending the COGIC convocation in which somehow he ended up at the altar and over the microphone system announcing that God had just instantly delivered him from homosexuality. The English he spoke was so broken and grammatically incorrect that out of respect for my platform, I chose not to directly quote him, but his school system should be EMBARRASSED, especially his English teachers. As if that wasn’t enough, the national blogs ran the humorous story and labeled him the “Whimsical Anal Annihilator.” To summarize his words, after his instant and new found “deliverance,” he basically stated that within minutes of this sermon, God had some way INSTANTLY delivered him from homosexual inclinations and he would now take this calling and go find himself a “WOMAN!!!” Clad in a lavender, gold and grey ensemble which included a paisley blazer and some type of contraption around his neck most closely related to three bow-ties stacked on top of each other and worn simultaneously, he went further to generalize the gay community with stereotypes and misconceptions that are not well founded. He LOUDLY proclaimed how he was no longer a part of a community of men that carried purses & wore make-up (I own not ONE purse and couldn’t tell you what shade of make-up I am even if my life depended on it.) He shouted a bit and people can be heard speaking in manufactured “tongues” that sounded like a poor rendition of a Shabba Ranks song. The elders & clergy cheered him on and even interceded in his “act” while placing large sums of money in his hands because as the preacher stated “God just told me that increase is coming your way and I’m going to step out on faith and be the first to give you $100.00”. The young man later revealed he was indeed unemployed, but a published author with 17 books under his belt (once again, his English was so poor it was deemed pure comedy.) By time the clip ended, the viewer was left not only entertained but confused. I most definitely concluded that I had seen a modern day vaudeville performance in a church sanctuary and at the altar!!!

First, let’s discuss the FACTS! I agree there are those who experiment with homosexual acts either out of curious fetishes or out of a need for financial assistance, BUT, any man/woman that openly and consistently identify with being gay will tell you, this is not a choice. This is how we’re born and it’s just another example of God’s brilliance, diversity, beauty, sovereignty and omnipotence. Man tend to hate and oppress that in which he cannot understand or control, therefore, throughout modern history the gays have been the recipients of the most hateful and unwelcomed bias and oppression of our kind. No one “chooses” to be gay. We have as much control over our sexuality as we do our gender or race. I understand in 2014 gay has become “trendy”…”FAB” and even accepted; but as recently as a few years back this was not the case. We had to sneak and layer up if we wanted our pants to fit properly. As a child, you identify pretty early on that you are “different” and have “weird” desires and attractions to the same sex but you suppress them because the world says those feeling in which are as much a part of you as the blood running through your veins just isn’t right. You are beat, taunted, ridiculed, teased, laughed at and made to feel unworthy of life just because you’re different and attracted to the beauty of your same sex. Society has even taken to twisting God’s word to lambast us and make you feel as if God doesn’t even love you…can you imagine that?…Especially for a child….The story of Sodom & Gomorrah is preached from the pulpits but the message is misconstrued. Bible scholars agree that the original message was not about gay sex at all. It was a message about poor hospitality and disrespect of guest. Being gay, society goes even further to make you feel low by pumping propaganda that says AIDS, cartoonish femininity, disappointment and public ridicule is the only end to anyone who identifies with being gay. Being gay, you are made to feel as if you are a 4th class citizen and a freak of nature. What child, teenager or man would “prefer” or “choose” this life? Yes, I am one of those that prayed to God in my youth so hard and so long to take this desire out of me that I could no longer even shed tears. It wasn’t until after I removed myself from the picture and listened to God tell me “Deo, I made you and I don’t make mistakes son” that I began to live my life fully. In my 33 years and all the luxuries I was provided as a child, I never saw true happiness until I accepted myself and exhaled.

To stand in a church at an altar and proclaim that God instantly “delivered” you from something he placed in you while you were just a seed in your mother’s womb is just preposterous to me…NO, I take that back, it’s laughable. My first challenge is to the clergy. Deliverance and any type of interaction from the divine is something that’s intimate, sacred and holy. When did deliverance become a reality show, publicized event for thousands to see and the pastor to profit of? This deliverance that you speak of, how does that work? I mean, did this young man instantly feel a spirit over take his body and leave him aroused by the female Usher Board member standing at the door? You make deliverance appear to be nothing more than an instant euphoric feeling similar to hitting the blunt a time or two. Is this how God work? You spend so much of your time and energy trying to condemn homosexuality but you forget that the HISTORIC Jesus of Nazareth was a rebel of society and he embraced both saints and sinners. He defied both the Sanhedrin Court, Rome and the High Priest and THAT’S why he was put to death. He let his work speak for him. You quote scripture, but if society was governed by the 2000 year old scripture that you quote, hell, 97% of us (gay & straight) would be stoned to death!!! When are you going to turn your attention to the overwhelmingly high number of young black STRAIGHT men that have given up on life and resulted to a life of crime and selling “loose squares” on your street corners for income? That’s who need the deliverance because the gays for the most part are doing ok but it’s no way in hell you can pay rent or a mortgage off 50 cents cigarettes. When will YOUR churches return to being an entity that provides a soothing and healing balm to a struggling people? As of date, your “pastors” are nothing more than popularity seeking hustlers with an agenda that make their coin and drive their fancy cars off tithes while their “flock” suffer and utilize handouts and government assistance for survival. Everybody wants a “mega” church to have the Governor on speed dial but you’re not effectively ministering to even 10% of your congregation. You couldn’t be! If you were, you would know that in our generation, nobody cares about who you’re sleeping with anymore. We’re all busy trying to get and hold jobs in a world where there’s one job for every 75 people. I would argue you now have a new task at hand. Social media is the interstate highway of our generation and after your convocation video went viral, massive amounts of people came out and expressed embarrassment, disdain, outrage and distanced themselves from the teachings of your doctrine and religion. I would advise calling the Bishops and elders together to strategize on a way the church can meet the needs of the community and new generation while accurately incorporating the teachings of Jesus Christ. After all, we are a creature of evolution and if you are unable to be passed on to future generations, you tend to die and become extinct…just ask the dinosaurs….

To the delivered young man, first and foremost, I would encourage you to seek mental help from an accredited professional. The resources are out there for you and free! I would also caution against playing with God and before his altar. I am not a messenger of Christ but I was taught at an early age, that’s one entity you don’t play with. Considering your extensive usage of broken and grammatically incorrect English, I would also encourage you to look into a English 101 course, no I take that back. Judging from the video you would probably require a Reading w/ Support 696 course. You came to church clad in your circus attire complete with pleated pants, velvet bow-ties and paisley blazers. You lacked the fundamental skills of appropriateness. You went to church dressed as you were going to a ball or some circus performance yet you blanketly label us as men who wear make-up and carry purses. HA! I think it’s wonderful you connected with the divine and found your faith. I would never dare to question the powers of God and what he CAN do; but considering its documented that this is your 3rd or 4th attempt at PUBLICLY being “delivered” from homosexuality, it leads me to ponder, why all the relapses? Why all the sexually inclined inbox messages to random men DAYS after previously being delivered? I suppose we will chalk that up to Satan leading you astray right? After your announcement, I laughed and then desperately exhausted myself trying to freely hand you over to the straight community. After all, you said you were done with “menzzzzzzzzzz” and going to get you a “woman..woman…woman…” Well unfortunately sir, the straight community stamped that package with a “return to sender” stamp! In fact, and I quote, they said “THE ONLY woman he can possibly get is a fat dark skin one with bad weave and glasses, who is gon think God “delivered him from homosexuality, for her“…Oh geesh…It looks like both the straight AND gay community is now handing you the hiyah. No worries tho, since you are unemployed and the pastor handed you $100.00, I’m sure your pre-paid phone will be back on and you can use those minutes to apply for jobs at your local Starbucks. The gay community is laughing at you and saying farewell. The straight community is laughing at you and saying “no thanks.” It must suck to be you right now, but no worries. I’m most confident that the same “spirit” you THOUGHT  caused you to pop your neck back and prance thru the church while speaking in faux tongues, will also send you a lovely young lady as you mate. You will no longer have the desires of penis in your ass and I am most proud…don’t forget to send my invite to the wedding… I would love to come and show you how to REALLY do paisley & patterns. I think I’m second best to Prince but then again I’m a PROUD gay, corporate and salaried man that also function in the real world and don’t carry purses or wear make-up. My glass is raised…Cheers!!!…Deo
Oh, and P.S… Straight women are already burdened with being the providers of their household due to incompetent and sorry dudes. Don’t add to their load by faking an emotion and denying who you really are and what you REALLY want… It’s a gross form of deception and it’s not even worth it…it’s not fair or humane and that’s just sad….